THE BS ABOUT GM
June 7, 2009
The acronym GM, which once stood for General Motors, now stands for Government Motors or as some rebuke, Government Mess, has wasted no time in developing their new line of sports cars, which will possibly roll out late September of 2009. Some analysts are highly impressed with the new horn and tires, but the majority of the task force is skeptical due to the unconventional source of energy used to turn the engine. They believe this new form of energy is uncontrollable, unreliable, unpredictable, and gives the driver a false sense of security.
It has been revealed that the vehicle runs on compressed hot air, equalized with the special natural compound of BS. The element, BS, is found in Washington, D.C., but it has been harvested in other democratic regions. Earshot from a reliable source states the fully loaded car is pricey and comes with sticker shock. The new government-produced car is strikingly impressive, satisfies the most delirious buyers, and meets all the new clean-air regulations. The majority of the developers believe the power source of the car, hot air and BS, will run out of steam by December of 2009. Some have even chuckled, declaring the car is mean and green, but there is nothing under the hood to substantiate the government’s claim to fame.
The most outstanding model, the O-Bomb-A, is a one-door hatchback, handsomely designed, currently manufactured at an unknown location, to be revealed at a later date, and comes with a warranty, backed by the federal government. The new car warranty and the owner’s manual, written last night by Congress, containing all the necessary, and unnecessary earmarks, mostly unnecessary, touts the largest warranty ever written, which will be a liability for all future generations. This bill is a thousand pages long. A source from the White House stated the left wing of the building is delighted with what Congress has put together. Congress was hoping to get the stamp of approval on the document, no later then this afternoon. Some say there isn’t enough time to read all the pages, while others say, read later but sign now.
Financing for the new car will not come from local banks, but rather China. Due to the fact, the government has borrowed money from foreign countries, a White House spokesperson stated, we owe China the business, and after all, they helped us when we were in a tight spot. She further declared, the interest rate will be high, but the government is planning to subsidize the payment for a select few.
Rumors are spreading that in the first 100 days you will need repairs to the car to get the bugs out and the CIA has been following up reports that the EPA is secretly closing down GM’s parts plants, which employ fifty thousand non-union workers. Speculators say the Union will take over the debunked operations being funded by Acorn. The validity of these statements has not been proven.
GM- GOVERNMENT MESS
